If we stress ourselves with the things people say behind our back (or sometimes to our face), we’ll go crazy trying to explain to them what really is the truth or go nuts trying to fit in to what they want us to be. The best option really is… decide not to care… because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter, don’t mind.
Of course as Christians, we need to be careful in our speech and actions so that we will not wound the conscience of our brothers. We are also careful because we want to give glory to Jehovah’s name, not degrade it. But there are instances when, even when we do try to explain our side, they will still believe what they want to believe. Come to think of it, what others think about us is none of our business anyway, and we can’t change what they want to think about us.
Those who deserve our explanation don’t need to ask for it from us. Those who sniff around asking some other people not involved for our explanation but not asking it from us directly, or those who don’t even bother to know if what they know is correct or not, are just gossip-hungry simpletons whose lives are too boring so they need to know and talk about other people’s business behind their backs with equally mediocre people to feel excitement in their otherwise mundane lives.
Other times, people would try to drag us into gossiping or spreading rumors about others. If this does happen, let the gossip chain stop on us. We don’t want to be a vehicle of gossip. We too would want our friend to dismiss a rumor about us if it happens to reach his/her ears, wouldn’t we?
Plus, people who truly love and care about us will never try to pressure us to make us fit into their box of standards they set for themselves. We are all different and we all make mistakes. You can try and do everything you can to fit in for the sake of peace and fitting in, but you’ll have to keep that pretense for the rest of your life and more often than not, guess what? They will STILL find fault in you. They will still find something they want to change about you. It’s hard enough to please one person, let alone everybody. There is only one person you can be, and that is yourself. You can only be your BEST self. You can never be someone else. That is the truth.
A quiet, reserved person should not force a cheerful, outgoing person to be quiet and reserved also and vice versa. A conservative person can’t force someone else to be as conservative. It’s up to each person to decide for himself. If a person is not like us, not acting the way we are acting, are we to shun them? Are we not all creations of God? Are we not creating a division when we put as an outcast or ignore someone we can’t force to have the same character and viewpoints like us?
Wrongdoing is wrongdoing and should never be tolerated. But then, do we make the mistake of hating the sinner along with the sin instead of hating ONLY the sin and HELPING the sinner? Are we not to feel happy that a person who sinned has repented and asked God’s help to cleanse him/her and is doing his/her best to be forgiven by God? Are we not to forgive him/her also? Are we to look down on them because they have done wrong and they are not perfect? Likewise, are we to beg off, try to escape from, or despise discipline? Should we not feel blessed to have received discipline as it is a sign that God loves us so much that He doesn’t want us to be taken by the “roaring lion”?
I hope that as you all read this, the person on your mind is yourself and not thinking about another person’s life, thinking your own life is perfect and that you don’t need to reflect on how you’ve been living your life. I have made so many mistakes in my life, but….. I have learned from them, and I am still learning, and I will continue to learn more. How about you?
If you would like to know how you can stop gossip, please click here to find out.