Poem #13: PRETEND

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Afflictions of sorts inside me thrive

Sometimes wanting death even while I’m alive

Other times, heightened feelings arrive

In this vicious cycle, I rise and dive

 

My friends and family can’t truly understand

But they do their best to give me a hand

Still, my emotions have no place to land

They slip through my fingers like sugary sand

 

In this roller coaster, I’m forced to ride

With no safety belts, I slip and slide

Every now and then, to loved ones I confide

But most of the time, I just choose to hide

 

In the height of it all, I feel my best

That I can stand up to any kind of test

I can turn any occasion into a fest

But to some, my extreme joy becomes a pest

 

Then darkness looms over the sky

I plummet down after being so high

Optimism and joy inside me die

With no apparent reason, I break down and cry

 

When people look at me, they see only glee

But behind these laughs are pain and melancholy

My true self I can’t show to them openly

And that is what makes me feel so lonely

 

To the public, I have to keep wearing a mask

As years pass, I have learned to cope with this task

In this form of secrecy, I have learned to bask

But I’m open to explain to those who would ask

 

I would have stopped breathing a long time ago

I would have given up if not for my Hero

He taught me to look up when I am so low

He gave me a boat and taught me to row

 

He is the only Person who understands all

He is the reason I can still stand tall

He is always there whenever I call

He proves to me that I’m not lonely at all

 

Jehovah promised all things He will mend

An ear and a hand He will always lend

So while waiting for all bad things to end

I’ll keep holding on and happily pretend.

 

– MJP (April 1, 2013)

 

If you suffer from an emotional or mood disorder or depression, please click here.

If you know someone else who does, please click here.